Astronaut 9

Who: Astronaut 9 Instagram Website

Why: Because... No, this time it'll be something longer.

At first, I have to admit that I've started to write this post at the beginning of last September which means that it took me 7 months to turn my thoughts into words. Writing this post wasn't an easy thing for me - hope that you'll understand it if you get to the end of it. I have to apologize to Astronaut 9 that it took me so long.

The first song by Astronaut 9 that I've heard was "Dust". It's definitely not a typical "CSGM style" song - it's almost 9 minutes long, it has a lot of rock vibes which - as you might know - is not my favorite genre, and there's a spoken-word poem in the middle of the track. If someone told me that I'll share a song like that on CSGM I would probably not believe - but I couldn't help it - I really liked that progressive composition, that vocal and especially - the meaningful and deep lyrics. Check it by yourself:

"Dust"

On the same day, I've heard the second song from the "Everything Like It's The Last Time" concept album by Astronaut 9. It was even more different than the songs that I'm usually sharing on my blog. This time most of the track is a spoken-word - the singing part doesn't start until 5:30. It's a good time to write that Astronaut 9, also known as Sam Zilli started performing spoken-word poetry at Boston venues and quickly gained a following as a writer in the local scene. While studying music at Berklee College of Music, Sam decided to combine the concepts and write a concept album.

So, why I was so impressed by that song? Because it lyrically broke my heart. The whole track is dedicated to Sam's friend, who killed herself. You'll guess why did she choose that way if you'll check the song's title: "Sarah And Ludo CW: Sexual Assault, Suicide, Self-Harm, Eating Disorders". Listening to Sam, telling us the amazing story of their friendship could really break you into tears.

"Sarah And Ludo CW: Sexual Assault, Suicide, Self-Harm, Eating Disorders"

I know how it is to feel like life isn't worth living anymore. For 27 years of my life, I was classifying myself as a "misfit toy". Now it's my time for public coming out: I'm a nonheterosexual person. I know how it feels to hear from a really important person that people like me should be closed in concentration camps. I know how it feels when you have unnamed "yourself" because you can't identify with L or G or B or T. I know how it feels when you're systematically lying to your friends about yourself because you're still not brave enough to tell them the truth. I know how it feels to plan another suicide attempt because you hate that face in the mirror so much.

When I was 27 I told one person the truth about me. That day changed my life forever. The last two years were my reborn. Right now I'm still the same but at the same time, I'm a completely different person. I dedicate this post to all the people who saved me from myself. I'll be grateful to you forever because life is an amazing thing when you got the ability to accept yourself the way as you are. Thank you for being on my team.

I also want to share the message with all the people who've ever thought about ending their lives. For 27 years I was thinking that there's no way for me to be happy. I know that you're thinking the same way, no matter what the cause is. It's not true. It's just not true. There's a way to find happiness but you'll never find it if you won't let you help. Grab those hands that reach towards you or - if there's no hand - find it! I know that the world is full of douchebags but there are real pure hearts between them. Let yourself find them, let yourself know the beauty of life.

I got my life back. No, I got my life for the first time! And it's amazing.

Check the "Everything Like It's The Last Time" on links below:

Where: AppleMusic iTunes Deezer Tidal GooglePlay

Leaving The Forest Behind

The thing is... I don’t even know how to start. I don’t even know what I want to write so I start writing and then I’m deleting everything over and over again. The truth is that the last two months were an emotional rollercoaster for me.

 "Life is what happens to us while we are making other plans"

Allen Saunders 

“Everything is going well” - I thought on some gloomy December day. And right after I thought about that, the fickle finger of fate has destroyed everything. I will not go into details but I’ll say that everything got fucked up in almost the same moment. It was this part of my life when I realized that the human psyche is an extremely fragile thing. 

I know that I fucked up, no matter what things were happening in my life. I haven’t shared some songs that I’ve promised to, I let some people down and I’m really sorry about that. I know that no words can turn back time so the best thing to do will be to share some good music with you again. 

At first, I have to share the songs that I’ve promised to share - I hope that maybe some of you haven’t heard them yet and they will gain some new fans thanks to my posts. Then I will have to ask you for some more patience - I don’t want to start sharing songs again without a solid plan because I don’t want to disappoint you again. I hope that the break wouldn’t be longer than the last one. I have to catch some breath before I’ll be able to run CSGM correctly. 

I was in a really dark forest lately. But I’m finally leaving it right now. I hope that you’ll stay with me. 

"I found love but I was sick the other day"

GINEVRA - Forest

Hello!

Two days ago I wrote my last Polish-language post. For more than 4 years I have been enjoying writing for Polish people, but three days ago - maybe I should say "finally" - the decision was made. It's time to switch to the language of Shakespeare.

<now there'll be a long 'blah blah blah'; if you're interested in music only, wait for the next post>

I started csgm back on 2013 when I was a 'care-about-nothing' college guy. I had a scholarship, so I wasn't interested in working so much. I had a lot of free-time that I was spending on having fun (oh yeah - 'having fun' could have so many meanings ^^) and searching the Internet to find some great new music. One day, my good friend asked me:

- klsk, where do you find this whole music?

- On YouTube, on SoundCloud, but mostly on a foreign music blogs, which serves some good music daily.

- So, why haven't you started that kind of blog yet?

That was a good idea, so I decided to put it into practice. Firstly, I was writing only for my friends, who have a similar music taste. Back then I had no idea, that csgm will ever turn into that great thing, that it is right now. 

After a few months of writing about music, csgm gets its first likes from unknown people. In the same year, I got the first e-mail with a music directly from a band. To be honest, it wasn't something special, but I was so excited, that I wrote about their song immediately. Everything went great until the monster called 'adult life' came and said 'you're mine now!'. 

Full-time job and a lot of other things caused that I stopped writing systematically. There were only short breaks at the beginning, but then they extended to a few days, few weeks, few months...

Right now, after another 3-month long hiatus, I have a more than 17k unread e-mails. There's no ability to read them all, but in the meantime, I found a lot of really great music and I want to share it with you. So, I looked at all these Analytics data and I draw some conclusions. For a lot of time, most of the entries on my blog are from English-language countries. I have more followers on HypeMachine than on Facebook, Twitter and Google+ put together. I had no choice. I decided to say 'CU' to all my Polish fans and try to take my chances in English.

I must admit that I wanted to wait for my new website, but when I realized that I bought a domain for it almost two years ago, I decided to start it right here, right now. Maybe it's a wrong decision, but you know, I think that it'll be like:

So, I'm here - in a front of a new challenge, but I'm pretty sure that it'll be a really nice experience, too. Saying "Hello" to you with a hope that you'll find some extraordinary music gems here.

Now it's time for some music.

All the best,